Surprising Life Information

There were three men in a bar. All three were sitting at the bar stool and one got up to use the bathroom. The other two men started talking. One man said, ''So what's new in your life?'' The other responded, ''Well I just found out my son got a promotion. He used to be a janitor at the bank and now he is an executive. On top of that there's someone special in his life. He just bought his new love a brand new Lexus.'' The other man says, ''My son also got a promotion and he has decided to settle down. He bought his new love a new house on the beach.'' The third man comes back from the bathroom. He looked kind of upset so the other two men asked what's eating him. He responded, ''I just found out that my son is gay. The good part is his lover bought him a brand new Lexus and a new house on the beach.''

This little Piggy!

A pig walks into a bar and orders a beer. After drinking it, he hops off the bar stool, pees on the floor and leaves.  Another pig comes in, drinks his beer, pees on the floor and leaves.  A third and forth piggy come in and do the same exact thing. Finally, a fifth piggy comes in to the bar and orders a beer. After finishing his beer, he gets off the bar stool and begins to walk out the door.  Before reaching the door, the bartender yells, "Hey Pig...aren't you going to pee on the floor like the others?"  To which the pig replies, "No you idiot!  Everyone knows that the last little piggy goes WEE WEE WEE  all the way home!"

Shouting During Sex

Two friends in a Bar: JACK: Joe, at what moment does your wife shout loudest during sex? JOE: Er..., when I clean myself off with the curtains.