Drunk Blowup Dolls

Two drunk guys try to pick up some girls. The girls take the drunk guys home, slip blowup dolls into their beds and leave. The next morning, the one guy tells the other guy, "I think my girl was a witch! When I bit her on the tit, she hissed and flew away."

Caught Drunk Driving

You're so stupid, you got caught drunk-driving at the bumper cars.

Moral of the Story

One day Adam's teacher told the class that everyone must find out a moral for the next day's class. One boy came in and said, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." The second boy said, "Don't judge a book by it's cover." Then Adam came in with a broken jaw and black eyes and said, "I asked my Uncle Johnny for a moral and he told me to shut up. I told him he had to help me because it was homework." The teacher said, "What is the moral, Johnny?" "DON''T MESS WITH UNCLE JOHNNY WHEN HE'S DRINKING!!!''