Bar Jokes - Bar Trick Jokes

Clearing It

A very drunk man in a bar tells the bartender and everyone that is sitting near him that he can fart out the tune to The Star Spangeled Banner! Everyone who hears this wants to see him do it. So he tells everyone to gather around him, then he climbs up on the bar, drops his trousers and proceeds to take a massive dump on the bar counter. After he finishes the disgusted bartender says, "Why in the hell did you shit on my bar?" The drunk replies "Even Elvis had to clear his throat!"

Categories: Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Fart Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Bar Trick Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Singing in a Bar Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

The Proposition

The man at the bar, deep in private thoughts of his own, turned to a woman just passing and said, "Pardon me miss, do you happen to have the time?" In a strident voice, she responded, "How dare you make such a proposition to me!" The man snapped to attention in surprise and was uncomfortably aware that every pair of eyes in the place had turned to his direction. He mumbled, "I just asked for the time, miss." In an even louder voice, the woman shrieked, "I will call the police if you say another word!!" Grabbing his drink and embarrassed very nearly to death, the man hastened to the far end of the room and huddled at a table, holding his breath and wondering how soon he could sneak out the door. Not more than half a minute later, the woman joined him. In a quiet voice, she said, "I'm terribly sorry to have embarrassed you, but I am a psychologist and I am studying the reaction of human beings to shocking statements." The man stared at her for five seconds, then he leaned back and bellowed, "You'd do all that for me all night long for just two dollars?! What's that?...You'd do it to every guy in this bar for just another ten dollars?!"

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Bar Jokes , Bar Jokes (Bar Trick Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

On the House

Q: Can you get free drinks by sleeping with the bartender?
A: It's worth a shot.

Categories: Riddles , Bar Jokes (Bar Trick Jokes) , Word Play Jokes
Anonymous
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