Blondes in a Pickup Truck

Four blondes drive to a bar in their old pickup truck. Three sit in the cab and one sits in the bed of the truck. The three blondes go into the bar and order a round of shots. Almost an hour later, the fourth blonde finally joins them. "Where have you been?" they ask. Clearly frustrated, she responds, "Well, you all forgot to open the tail gate!"

Drunk Buddies

Two guys are drinking together, when one of them throws up all over himself. "Christ!" he says, "My wife ish going to kill me."
His friend puts his arm around his shoulder and offers him 20 dollars. "Don't worry," he says, "I'm your besht friend - give her thish and tell her that I chucked up on your jacket, and that I gave you thish money to get it cleaned."
"Fantashtic," says the first guy. "You're amashing, really the besht." Arriving home, the poor guy's wife opens the door. "Where the hell have you been, look at the state of you..." she kicks off. Quickly he replies, "Look love, it's not really my fault. Jack threw up all over me, but you know he's really a nice guy 'cos he gave me 20 bucks to get my jacket cleaned..." "But there are 40 dollars here," she replies. "Oh, yeh, I forgot to tell you," he says, "Jack shat in my trousers as well."

Cold Cock the S.O.B!

A big 300 pound, seven foot brute of a man walked into a bar one evening and said to the bartender "Give everyone a drink except that gay guy over there". About fifteen minutes later he gives the same order, "Give everyone a drink except that gay guy over there." The gay guy asks the bartender for two ice cubes. The bartender asks why, and the gay guy says "I am going to put one in each cheek, go over there, and cold-cock that big son-of-a-bitch!"