One Stick

In the beginning, there were only wind instruments in the orchestra. Then they noticed that many of the people were too stupid to play wind instruments, so they gave them boxes with wires strapped across them. These people were known as “strings.” Then they noticed that some people were too dumb to play strings, so they were given two sticks and were told to hit whatever they wanted. These people were known as “percussionists.” Finally, they noticed that one percussionist was so dumb, he couldn’t even do that, so they took away one of his sticks and told him to go and stand in front of everybody. And that was the birth of the first conductor.

Country Music

I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'to put down'.

Wall Man

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on a wall?
A: Art