Chainsaw and Bari-sax

Q:  How do you make a chainsaw sound like a bari-sax?
A:  Add vibrato.

The Cellist

Q: What is the difference between a cello and a coffin?
A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside.

Oboe Jokes

Q: How do you get five oboes in tune?
A: Shoot four of them.
Q: What are burning oboes used for?
A: To set bassoons on fire.
Q: Why does an oboist always have to fight for correct intonation?
A: Because most oboes are full of holes.
Q: How do you make an oboist play a sustained A-flat?
A: Steal his batteries.