The Cellist

Q: What is the difference between a cello and a coffin?
A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside.

Oboe Jokes

Q: How do you get five oboes in tune?
A: Shoot four of them.
Q: What are burning oboes used for?
A: To set bassoons on fire.
Q: Why does an oboist always have to fight for correct intonation?
A: Because most oboes are full of holes.
Q: How do you make an oboist play a sustained A-flat?
A: Steal his batteries.

Viola Recording

Q: Why can't you hear a viola on a digital recording?
A: Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.