Alto Clarinet

Q: What's the definition of a nerd?
A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.

Good Horn Player

Q: What's the name of a good English horn player?
A: I'll tell you when I meet one.

Guitarists Changing a Lightbulb

Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty. One to change the bulb and nineteen to say, "Not bad, but I could've done better".