How Is A Bagpipe Like Throwing A Javelin

Q: How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?
A: You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.

Where are We?

Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, "Where are we?"
Rachmaninov said, "Carnegie Hall, sir!"

Louvre in Dire Straits

Due to the flooding from the Seine River, The Louvre museum in Paris is scrambling to donate French Impressionist and Eastern European artwork to any museum that can keep them dry.
Museums that have agreed to take the artwork are very excited since they're getting Monet for nothing and Czechs for free.