Boy Born With a Head

A boy is born without a body, only a head. For his 18th birthday his father, takes him to a bar for a drink. The father orders his son a scotch and when the boy drinks it, an arm pops out of his head. He drinks another shot and another arm pops out. After the next shot a torso pops out. After more shots, suddenly, he has a whole body. The boy runs out of the bar and gets hit by a truck, killing him instantly. A drunkard in the corner looks at the father and says, "He should have quit while he was a head."

Born Beautiful

You're lucky to be born beautiful, unlike me, who was born to be a big liar.

Girl at Dermatologist

Dermatologist: "Good News my dear, after looking through your test results I'm happy to report you will no longer be plagued by pimples." Girl: "Wow! That's great! Why?" Dermatologist: "There's no more space."