Yo Momma - Door Frame

Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

FDA Milk Labeling Rules

The new FDA milk labeling rules are so strict, it's now illegal to print a picture of a missing fat kid on a carton of skim milk.

Health Club Membership

Several members of a health club were having their first meeting. The director of the group said, "Now, I'd like each of you to describe your daily routine." Each member spoke, and shared their good and bad habits. Then one obviously overweight member said, "I eat moderately, I drink moderately and I exercise frequently." "Hmm…" said the director. "And are you sure you have nothing else to add?" "Well, yes," said the member. "I lie extensively."