Eating a Lot

When I was young, I used to eat a lot because my parents told me that fat kids are harder to kidnap.

Yo Momma - In a Magazine

Yo mama's so fat, I saw a picture of her in a magazine on page 4, 5, 6, 7,and 8.

God Bless Me

There are five people on a plane that's crashing. There is the pilot, Bill Gates, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky and a big, fat lady and four parachutes. The pilot jumps out and yells, ''God bless me!'' Bill Gates jumps out and yells, ''God bless me and my bank account!'' Michael Jordan jumps out and yells, ''God bless me and my team!'' Wayne Gretzky jumps out and yells, ''God bless me and the New York Rangers!''
The big, fat lady jumps out without a parachute and yells, ''God bless me and the people I land on!''