New Apartment Welcome

A man moved into a new apartment, and he decided to go and check his mail. The next thing he knows, a beautiful woman is standing in front of him and she has a robe on and she opens it and the man notices she has nothing on underneath. He tries to keep eye contact with the girl while she is talking to him. All of a sudden she says, "I hear someone coming, let's go in my apartment." When they get in to her apartment, she lets her robe fall to the ground and asks the man, "Which part of my body do you like the best?" The guy replies, "Your ears." So she gets mad and asks, "Why my ears!? Look at this body! It's perfect! Look at these breasts -- they're real and they're mine! Look at this butt -- it's hard and firm! So why my ears?" The guy says, "Well, because the person you heard coming was me!"

Mike Tyson and Metallica Concert

Q: What do Mike Tyson and a Metallica concert have in common?
A: At a Metallica concert you get ringing in the ears, and at a Mike Tyson fight, you get ears in the ring!