Midgets And Tampons

Q: Why don't midgets wear tampons?
A: They trip over the strings.

Yo Mama - Google Maps

Yo mama so fat, you can spot her on Google Maps.

Lawyer Out of Surgery

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!" Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of 'beautiful' it was 'cute.' She said "What happened to 'beautiful?" His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!"