Two Blokes Were Out Walking Home From Work One Afternoon

Two blokes were out walking home from work one afternoon."Shit," said the first bloke, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna rip the wife's knickers off!" "What's the rush?" his mate asked."The bloody elastic in the legs is killing me," the bloke replied.

Young Jewish Man

A Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatrist for an eating and sleeping disorder. "I am so obsessed with my mother... As soon as I go to sleep, I start dreaming, and everyone in my dream turns into my mother. I wake up insuch a state, all I can do is go downstairs and eat a piece of toast." The psychiatrist replies: "What, just one piece of toast, for a big boy like you?"

Dark Ages Insult

You should have been born in the Dark Ages, you look terrible in the light.