Young Jewish Man

A Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatrist for an eating and sleeping disorder. "I am so obsessed with my mother... As soon as I go to sleep, I start dreaming, and everyone in my dream turns into my mother. I wake up insuch a state, all I can do is go downstairs and eat a piece of toast." The psychiatrist replies: "What, just one piece of toast, for a big boy like you?"

Dark Ages Insult

You should have been born in the Dark Ages, you look terrible in the light.

Borrow Your Ass

Q: Can I borrow your face for a few days?
A: My ass is going on vacation.