Crossing Elephant & Whale

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

Bear Hunting

A hunter goes to the forest. He sees a bear and fires at it, but misses. The bear is nowhere to be seen.
Suddenly the bear taps him on his shoulder and says, "You tried to kill me, either I'll kill you or pull down your trousers and let me have my way with you. The hunter chose life.
He goes home embarrassed, buys a bigger gun and goes back to hunt the bear. He sees it at a distance, fires, misses, the bear disappears in the thick brush only to pop up behind him a little later. The bear recognizes the hunter and says, "You know the choices."
The hunter, sore for months after the ordeal, brings a bazooka to get over his humiliation. He finds the bear, fires and falls back due to recoil. The smoke clears and the bear is standing over him, rubbing it's chin. "You don't come here for hunting, do you?"

Escape

Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger. One of the guys reached into his back pack and pulled out a pair of Reebok running shoes. His friend looked at him. "Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger?" "I don't have to run faster than that tiger. I just have to run faster than you."