Tupperwear

Q: Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
A: To find a tight seal.

George In the Jungle

George of the Jungle lived all alone in the jungle with no other people. Since there were no other people, George had no one to have sex with and instead screwed a hole in a tree everyday. One day, he found a woman, an abandoned orphan like himself, in the jungle and the call to do the wild thing became too much. Soon, they were making out and getting pretty hot 'n' heavy -- until George kicked the woman in the crotch. "Why did you do that?" she exclaimed. "Must check for squirrels."

Asp in the Grass

An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.