Listen to the Ocean

Q: Why do the oceans roar?
A: You would too if you had crabs on your bottom and oysters in your bed.

Pet Advice

Thanks to the people who said it is fine to let your pets sleep in your bed. My goldfish is now dead.

Shark Week - Research Breakthrough

Marine biology researchers have developed a new method to fend off shark attacks. If you're diving and are approached by a shark they recommend that you swim towards it aggressively and punch it in the nose as hard as possible.
If this doesn't work, beat the shark with your stump.