Nun's Underpants

Three nuns used to go to the church from their homes every day. On the way they would pass a house where a parrot lived. The parrot would call out three colors every time the nuns would pass by. They soon realized that the parrot was calling out the colors of their respective underpants. They tried to fool the parrot by switching positions while walking and even wearing different colored underpants every day, but the parrot was never wrong. Finally they devised a way to fool the parrot by not wearing any underpants at all. When they walked across the house the parrot spoke out loud, ''Straight, straight, curly.''

A Miserable Rooster

A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders.  He says, "What the hell is that all about?"  The farmer says, "We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm."  "Really?", said the salesman. "Yeah," said the farmer, "and there ain't nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other!"

Jesus the Rottweiler

A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending ransacking, and he's looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!" Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his business. "I can see you, and so can Jesus!" The burglar jumps again, and takes a longer look around the room. Over in the corner by the window, almost obscured by curtains, is a cage in which sits a parrot, who pipes up again, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!" "So what," says the burglar, "you're only a parrot!" To which the parrot replies, "Maybe, but Jesus is a rottweiler!"