Saving the Possum!

Late one night a couple is driving down a country highway and run over an possum. Knowing that mother possums often carry babies in their pouch, they decide to check out this poor animal. Sure enough there was a baby, so they decide to rescue it. They take it into the car and continue down the road. The little possum is scared and squirming around like crazy so the wife asks her husband what she should do? He thinks for a minute and says, "Well it's used to being in it's mother's pouch. Maybe if you unbutton your jeans, and put it in "there" it will calm down." She exclaims, "I'm not going to do that! That thing is smelly and nasty!" The husband replies, "Well, why don't you just hold it's little nose!"

Jackahump

Q: How do you stop a dog who's humping your leg?
A: Whack him off!

Old Mother Hubbard

Old Mother Hubbard went to her cupboard to fetch her old dog a bone, But when she bent over, Rover took over and gave her a bone of his own!