Bar Charts

Never show a bar chart at an AA meeting.

Looks Like Plastic, Feels Like Rubber

An attorney went into a bar for a martini and found himself beside a scruffy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. He leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, "well, it looks plastic." Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, "but it feels like rubber. "Curious, the attorney asked, "What do you have there?" The drunk replied, "I don't know, but it looks like plastic and feels like rubber." The attorney responded, "Let me take a look." So the drunk handed it over and the lawyer rolled between his thumb and fingers, then examined it closely by sniffing and licking it. "Yeah, it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, has no significant smell or taste, I sure don't know what it is. Where did you get it?" The drunk replied, "Out of my nose!"

What Is A Breathalyzer?

"Shhaaayyy, buddy, what's a 'Breathalyzer'?" asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool."Well, I'd have to say it's a bag that tells you when you've drank way too much," answered the equally wasted gent. "Ah hell, whaddya know? I've been married to one of those for years and years now!"