Four for Dinner

Waiting for my three friends at a Spanish restaurant. The waiter has just asked if I want a drink. "Wine" I told him "Pour for four"

That Ought To Work

A policeman cruising past a pub after closing time notices two motor bikes still parked out the front. He goes round the back of the pub only to find two bikies, one with his fingers up the bum of the other. "So what's going on here?" he asks. The bikie replies "My mate here has had too much to drink and I'm trying to make him vomit." The cop says "I think you should be sticking your fingers down his THROAT!" The bikie replies "That's what I'm going to do next!"

Successful Night

After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, John woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realized he had made it home safely.