Blonde and a 747

Q: What do a blonde and a 747 have in common?
A: They both have big cockpits.

Feel Like a Woman

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"

United Coach

Q: What's United Airlines new name for coach class?
A: The nosebleed section.