Drone School

Q: What's the difference between a Pakistani elementary school and an Al Qaeda outpost?
A: I don't know, I just fly the drones.

Born Loser

Q: What's the definition of a born loser?
A: A stowaway on a kamikaze plane.

Plane Bathroom Afflictions

A man on a plane asked the stewardess if he could use the restroom. She told him the men's room was broken, so he had to use the women's room. Then she said, ''But don't push the W.W. button, or the P.B. button, and DO NOT push the A.T.R. button." But of course he had to push the W.W. button, which he discovered stood for warm water (sprayed on your butt). Then he pushed the P.B. button, which stood for powder your butt. And since those two things had been so pleasant, he pushed the A.T.R. button. He later woke up in a bright room and doctors were all around him. When he asked why he was there, they asked him if he hit the A.T.R. - automatic tampon remover - button. The guy said, "Yes... what happened?" The doctor said, "Your penis is on your pillow."