Horse Lover

A worried patient went to his psychiatrist. "I'm in love with my horse," he said .
"But that's nothing," replied the shrink. "A lot of people love animals. For instance, my wife and I have a dog that we love very much."
"Ah, but doctor," the patient replied. "It's a sexual attraction that I feel toward my horse."
"Ahhh!" exclaimed the doc. "What kind of a horse is it? Male or female?"
"Female, of course," said the bloke. "What do you think I am, a faggot!"

Communication Problem

A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me. The psychiatrist asked, "Don't you have a phone in your car?" The blonde explained, "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car." "Uh, how's that working?" he asked. "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet," she said. "And why do you think that is?" The blonde said, "I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."

Psychiatrists and Patients

Q: How do you tell the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at the mental hospital?
A: The patients are the ones that eventually get better and go home!