Driving Exams

Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests!
Doctor: Don't worry about it. You'll pass eventually.
Liz: I'm the examiner!

The Astronaut Joke

Q: What did the astronaut see in his skillet pan?
A: An Unidentified Frying Object!

Answering machine

Hello, this is probably 438-9012, yes, the house of the famous statistician.  I'm probably not at home, or not wanting to answer the phone, most probably the latter, according to my latest calculations. Supposing that the universe doesn't end in the next 30 seconds, the odds of which I'm still trying to calculate, you can leave your name, phone number, and message, and I'll probably phone you back. So far the probability of that is about 0.645. Have a nice day.