Answering machine

Hello, this is probably 438-9012, yes, the house of the famous statistician.  I'm probably not at home, or not wanting to answer the phone, most probably the latter, according to my latest calculations. Supposing that the universe doesn't end in the next 30 seconds, the odds of which I'm still trying to calculate, you can leave your name, phone number, and message, and I'll probably phone you back. So far the probability of that is about 0.645. Have a nice day.

Corporate Booty Call - MBA

Yeah, I have an MBA - Master of Booty Action.

Businessman's Payback

An abrasive businessman in the hospital constantly berates the medical staff. Only the head nurse will stand up to him. One day she tells him, "I have to take your temperature. I'm sorry, but for this reading, I cannot use an oral thermometer." This starts rounds of complaining, but eventually the man rolls over and bares his rear end. After the nurse inserts the thermometer, she announces, "I have to get something. Now you stay just like that until I get back." She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walk past his door laughing. The man's doctor comes into the room, "What's going on here?" Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" After a pause, the doctor says, "Well, no, not with a carnation, anyway."