Profession Jokes

A Round of Golf

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole. "He thanked her and went back to his golf. On the back nine the same thing happened and he approached her again with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th hole, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th hole." Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.  He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.  He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you are in the sales profession. I'm in sales, also. What do you sell?"  She replied, "If I tell you, you'll laugh." "No, I won't."  "Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."  With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath. She said, "See I knew you would laugh."  "That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. "I'm a salesman for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Small Confusion

Q: What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
A: Micro trans-action

Anonymous

Equal Pay

Sven and Ole worked together and were both laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Sven looked the lady in the eye and said "Panty stitcher. I sew the elastic onto cotton panties." The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.
Then Ole goes in and sits down with the lady. She asked Ole his occupation. "Diesel fitter," he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled jobs, the clerk gave the Ole $600 a week.
When Sven found out he was furious. He stormed back in to find out why his friend and co-worker, Ole, was collecting double his unemployment pay. The clerk explained: "When I looked it up, panty-stitchers were unskilled laborers and diesel fitters were skilled laborers."
"Skill! What skill?" Sven yelled. "I sew the elastic on..." He pulls on it and says, "Yep, diesel fitter".

Categories: Profession Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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