Deodorant

A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks assistant for an anal deodorant. The assistant explains that they don’t stock them. The man insists that he bought his last one from this store. The assistant passes the man on to the pharmacist, who explains that store has never stocked such an item. The man explains he bought his last one from this store only weeks ago and has done for several years. The pharmacist asks the man to bring in his last purchase and he will try to match the product. The following day, the man returns to the pharmacy and shows the deodorant to the pharmacist. The pharmacist asks why the customer thinks this is an anal deodorant, when it is obviously of the underarm stick variety. The customer explains that instructions on reverse state, "Push up bottom to use."

Shephard Talk

Q: What did the one shepherd say to the other shepherd?
A: Let's get the flock out of here!

Admin Harris

The admin, Ms. Harris,  came in late for work the third day in a row.  The boss called her into his office and said, "Now look, Ms. Harris, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that's over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here."  The boss pressed on, " Who told you you could come and go as you please around here?" Ms. Harris simply smiled, lit up a cigarette, and while exhaling said, "My lawyer."