Profession Jokes - Lawyer Jokes

Blinde Snake and Bunny

A blind bunny and a blind snake bump into each other on the path. "What kind of animal are you?" asks the snake. "I really don't know," says the bunny. "I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out?" So, the snake felt the bunny. "Well, you're soft and cuddly," said the snake. "You have long silky ears and a little fluffy tail. You must be a bunny!" "Awesome!" says the bunny. "Now what kind of animal are you?" "I really don't know," says the snake. "I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out?" So, the bunny feels the snake all over, and he replies, "You're hard and cold, and you haven't got any balls. You must be a lawyer!"

Anonymous

Unreasonable Bill

A client who felt his legal bill was too high asked his lawyer to itemize costs. The statement included this item: "Was walking down the street and saw you on the other side. Walked to the corner to cross at the light, crossed the street and walked quickly to catch up with you. Got close and saw it wasn't you. -$50.00."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Get Me Another Lawyer

Defendant: Your Honor, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.
Judge: And why is that?
Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn't interested in my case.
Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have any comments on the defendant's motion?
Public Defender: I'm sorry, Your Honor. I wasn't listening.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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