Engineer's Starting Salary

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"  The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."  The interviewer replies, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?"  The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."

You Might Be an Engineer if

• The only jokes you receive are through e-mail (nothing wrong with this one).
• At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string.
• Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your computer is a moral dilemma.
• Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room.
• In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure.
• The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
• You are always late to meetings.
• You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling.
• You are next in line on death row in a French prison and you find that the guillotine is not working properly so you offer to fix it.
• You bought your wife a new CD ROM reader for her birthday.
• You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
• You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting.
• You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines.
• You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.
• You forgot to get a haircut ... for 6 months.
• You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects.
• You have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area.
• You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
• You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
• You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.
• You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.
• You know what http:// stands for.
• You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys.
• You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.
• You see a good design and still have to change it.
• You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring.
• You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it.
• You think a pocket protector is a fashion accessory.
• You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep.
• You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa).
• You window shop at Radio Shack.
• You're in the back seat of your car, she's looking wistfully at the moon, and you're trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite.
• Your checkbook always balances.
• Your laptop computer costs more than your car.
  • Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work.
• You've already calculated how much you make per second.
• You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio.

Vocabulary

I recently called an old Engineering buddy of mine and asked what he was working on these days.
He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment."
I was impressed until, upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.