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The best jokes and joke writers!

Wedding Prank

These three friends, a Dentist, a Carpenter, and an Electrician were sitting around trying to decide what prank to pull on a mutual friend. Their friend was getting married soon, and his good buddies just felt compelled to play some prank, as all good buddies would.

After sitting around brainstorming for a while, the Electrician had a thought, "I know! I know! I can wire the bed so that when our friend and his new bride sit on it and touch one another, they'll get a good shock."

The Carpenter perked up and added, "and I can rig the bed so that when they get shocked and jump apart, the bed will collapse."

The Dentist just sat in silence, because he couldn't think of a thing to do.

After the fortunate couple's wedding and honeymoon, the groom called his friends together for a chat. He said to them, "Well, when we sat on the bed and got a shock, it wasn't that bad. And then when we jumped apart and the bed fell in, we had a good laugh. But who's bright idea was it to put the Novocaine in the Vaseline?!?!?!?!?"

It's Your Choice

This woman goes into a dentist's office, after he is through examining her he says: "I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth." The woman then says with anticipated agony, "Ooooohhhh, I'd rather have a baby!" To which the dentist replies: "Well make up your mind. I have to adjust the chair."

Pulled Tooth

A dentist told a mother, "I'm sorry madam, but I'll have to charge you a $100 for pulling your boy's tooth." The mother exclaimed, "A $100! You said it was only $20!" "Yes," replied the dentist, "but he yelled so loudly that he scared four other patients out of the office!"

The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life

        The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life

  1. The Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes."
  2. The Dentist - who tells her to "open wide."
  3. The Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in the front or the back?"
  4. The Hairdresser - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?"
  5. The Interior Designer - who tells her "once it's inside, you'll LOVE it!"
  6. The Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest!"
  7. The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots twice, always eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her "Keep quiet and lie still!"

Gas Up

I asked my dentist if I could have some of his laughing gas.

He said, "Sure, knock yourself out."