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Profession Jokes
Lawyer Talk
"Your Honor, in the first place, as they say, I am going to say it. I was going to say what you said and the reason I am going to say it, is not because you just said it. If you had not said it, I was going to say it first."
You have just witnessed a lawyer speaking to a judge.
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Final Curtain
At his annual checkup, a man is told that he has contracted a deadly disease and has only twelve hours to live. His only consolation is that it’s not contagious. When he gets home, he tells his wife the awful news. She is devastated and says, “Honey, let’s make love tonight. It will be the night of your life.” They make love with a passion, and it’s amazing, and they kiss and go to sleep. A little while later he wakes her up and says, “How about we do it again?” They make love again, and it’s even better and more bittersweet. They are exhausted. Sensing the end approaching, the husband asks, “Hey, how about just one more time?” “That’s easy for you to say,” the wife says. “You don’t have to get up in the morning.”
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Teacher
It was the first day of school. Harry's mother went into his bedroom and said, "Come on Harry, get up now. You have to go to school today."
"But I don't want to go to school," replied Harry, "I want to stay in bed. Why do I have to go to school"?
"Because," answered his mother, "you're a teacher!"
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