Engaged To Kate and Edith

An airplane pilot got engaged to two very pretty women at the same time. One was named Edith; the other named Kate.
They met, discovered they had the same fiancee, and told him, "Get out of our lives you rascal.  We'll teach you that you can't have your Kate and Edith, too."

Soviet Physician

Q: What does the M.D. after a name of a Soviet emigre physician stand for?
A: Mentally deficient.

Always the Lawyer

A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered 'no' to the question. The next question, intended for those who answered the preceding question with a 'yes', was "why?" Nevertheless, the lawyer answered it, "Never got caught."