Playing Trucker

A young boy sits on the edge of the sidewalk, eats some M&Ms, cuts off the back end of a grasshopper, and then moves down the curb. He does this over and over. His mother asks him what he's doing. He says, "I'm playing trucker. I pop some pills, cut off some a**hole and keep moving."

GM Engineer

If you want to be a General Motors engineer, your memory needs to be perfect.
You have to recall everything.

Blonde Needs Braces

A dentist tells a blonde that she needs braces. The blonde says, "Why? I can walk just fine." When the dentist explains that braces are for her teeth, she replies, "But my teeth don't walk."