Chapped Lips

An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss where the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk and aimed toward the swinging doors of the saloon. "Hold on there, Mister," said the sheriff. "Did I just see what I think I saw?" "Reckon you did, Sheriff. I got me some powerful chapped lips." "And that cures them?"  the Sheriff asked. "Nope, but it keeps me from lick'en 'em."

Is It Serious?

Patient: Tell me, doctor. Is it serious?
Doctor: Well, I wouldn't advise you to start watching any serials on TV.

Qualification Test

Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said Manager: "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the American the job."Murphy: "And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I should get the job! "Manager: "We have made our decisions not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed."Murphy: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other? "Manager: "Simple, the American put down on question #5, "I don't know.", You put down "Neither do I."