Your Wife And A Lawyer

If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?

How Lawyers Do It

Lawyers do it with appeal. Lawyers do it confidentially. Lawyers do it on a trial basis. Lawyers do it until justice prevails. Lawyers do it as long as you can pay them. Lawyers do it unless it is prohibited by law.

Have a Drink

Middle of the night, middle of nowhere, two cars both slightly cross over the white line in the center of the road. They collide and a fair amount of damage is done, although neither is hurt. It's impossible to assess blame for the accident on either however. They both get out. One is a doctor, one is a lawyer. The lawyer calls the police on his car phone. They'll be there in 20 minutes. It's cold and damp, and both men are shaken up. The lawyer offers the doctor a drink of brandy from his hip flask, the doctor accepts, drinks and hands it back to the lawyer, who puts it away. "Aren't you going to have a drink?" the doctor asked. "AFTER the police get here," replies the lawyer.