Crusty Old Managing Partner

The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his law firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him. "I'm sorry, he's dead," was the standard answer. Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling. The reply: "I used to be one of his junior associates, and I just like to hear you say it."

Lawyer Loopholes

Q: Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died?
A: He was looking for loopholes!

A Man Encounters a Friend

A man encounters a friend and sees that his friend's car is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, "What's happened to your car?" "Well," the friend responses, "I ran into a lawyer." "OK," says the man, "that explains the blood, but what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?" "Well, I had to chase him all through the park."