Stuck in an Elevator

Q: You are stuck in an elevator with a tiger, a lion and a lawyer. You have a gun with just two bullets in it. What do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice to make sure he's dead.

Old Rabbit and Snake

One day there was a rabbit and a snake who were both growing old and could not remember what animal they were. "OK I'll describe you and then see if you can guess what you are," said the snake. "That's a good idea," said the rabbit. "You are white, fluffy, and you have big ears and feet," said the snake. "Oh good, I'm a rabbit! So the rabbit says, "You are long, slim, and have a forked tongue." "OH NO, I'm a lawyer!"

My Dad's a Lawyer

Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind," replied Tommy.