Ring Ring

*ring* *ring* "Hello?" Hearing only heavy breathing on the line, the woman repeated, "Hello?" "I'll bet you want me to come into your bedroom," a male voice whispered huskily, "...undress you, lick you from head to toe and make love to you until morning." "Geez," the woman replied, "you can tell all that from two hello's?"

Counter Productive Pickup Lines

1. If you and I were squirrels, I could bust a nut in your hole.
2. How do you like your eggs: fried, scrambled or fertilized?
3. My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can't hold it in.
4. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, then could I meet you between the holidays?
5. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.

Alien Booty Call

Among your species of bipedal hominids, I find you the least repulsive.