Travel Jokes

Ocean Cruise and the Doctor

Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that he's worried about getting real seasick. The doctor tells him, "Just eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock." Steve says, "Will that keep me from getting sick? "The doctor says, "No, but it'll look real pretty in the water."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

You're in Big Trouble

John was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
John thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."
Judi, sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him -- he's just a wise guy when he's drunk and stoned."
Brian from the back seat said, "I told you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

The Bus Bench

There were three guys waiting for a bus on a bench when the first guy farts, 'WHOOOSSHHHHH....'No one brought attention to it. Then suddenly the second guy farts, 'WHOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH........Again, no one thought anything of it until the third guy let one,'PPPPPPPPUUUUUUHHHHHHHH...'The first two guys then looked at the third guy and simultaneously said, "STRAIGHT."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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