Investigating a Terrible Accident

There was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no witnesses. The police try to investigate further but they get no results. At last, they try to interrogate the monkey. The monkey seems to respond to their questions with gestures. Seeing that, they start asking the questions.The police chief asks, "What were the people doing on the bus?" The monkey shakes his head in a condemning manner and starts dancing around; meaning the people were dancing and having fun. The chief asks, "Yeah, but what else were they doing?" The monkey uses his hand and takes it to his mouth as if holding a bottle. The chief says, "Oh! They were drinking, huh??!" The chief continues, "Okay, were they doing anything else?" The monkey nods his head and moves his mouth back and forth, meaning they were talking. The chief loses his patience, "If they were having such a great time, who was driving the stupid bus then?" The monkey cheerfully swings his arms to the sides as if grabbing a wheel.

Customs

A tourist goes on his first overseas trip. Upon arriving, he is visibly puzzled filling his visa application. The customs official looks over his shoulder, and sees the tourist trying to write 'Twice a week' into the small space labeled 'SEX'. The official explains: "No, no, no. That is not what we mean by this question. We are asking 'Male' or 'Female'." "Doesn't matter," the tourist answers.

Buddies Go Inside Europe

Two friends, named Harry and George, go on a trip to Europe, where they have a great time. When they get back, Harry meets up with his pal Phil to tell him all about it. "One of the first places we went to was the leaning tower of Pisa. It was really neat." "Cool. Did you go up inside it?" "No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did go to visit the Cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris. That was really neat." "Cool. Did you go up inside it?" "No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did go to visit Big Ben in London." "Cool. Did you go up inside it?" "No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did attend mass at the Vatican." "Really? What happened?" "Well, the Pope made the sign of the cross, and George dropped his right crutch, and he dropped his left crutch." "Cool. What happened then?" "George fell on his ass. He's a cripple, you know."