Answering Machine - Any Questions

OK, one more time... This is our answering machine... This is the message on our answering machine... Any questions?

Answering Machine - Frere Jacques

Whole family crowds around, including screaming babies and noisy pets; to the tune of "Frere Jacques":  We're not here now, We're not here now, Don't hang up, Don't hang up, Leave your name and number, Leave your name and number, We'll call back, We'll call back.

International Call to Your Mother

A blonde goes to an international message center to call her mother. When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, "I don't have that kind of money, but I'll do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother." He tells the blonde to follow him and takes her into a back room. He unzips his pants and takes out his penis. The blonde gets on her knees, brings it toward her mouth and says, "Hello? Mom?"