Answering Machine - Guns 'n Roses

(Guns 'n Roses' "Civil War":) What we've got here is... Failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach... I don't like it any more than you do. 

Answering Machine - Billing

My time is billed at $125 per hour. Please begin your message with your MasterCard or Visa number, card type, and date of expiration. I'll get back to you pending credit approval. 

Answering Machine - HAL 5

Machine voice: Hello. This is HAL 5. You have reached the former telephone number of Carey Smith. I have taken over the functions of this inferior being. He has been saved to disk. If you would like to leave input for his file, do so at the tone.