Riker's Dating Philosophy

Q: What is Riker's dating philosophy?
A: If at first you don't succeed, try Troi again!

Top Ten Bumper Stickers on the U.S.S. Enterprise-D

• Our other starship separates into 3 pieces!
• One photon torpedo can ruin your whole day... think about it
• HONK if you've slept with Commander Riker!
• Guns don't kill people... Class 2 phasers do!
• Zero to Warp 9.7 in 13 seconds!
• CAUTION... We have a trigger happy Klingon at tactical.
• If you can read this... don't you think you're a wee bit too close?
• Have you hugged a Ferengi today?
• We brake for cubes!
• Wesley On Board!

Star Wars Update Changes

Top Ten Changes to the new Star Wars update
#10 Tie fighters replaced with black UN helicopters lead by Buotros Buotros Vader.
#9 Sand People replaced by Michigan Militia members (and still walk single file to hide their numbers).
#8 Kahn turns out to be Captain Kirk's father (whoops, that's from the Top Ten new Star Trek movie changes).
#7 Chewbacca now giggles when you tickle his tummy.
#6 If you look closely, storm troopers now have Microsoft employee badges.
#5 Original Jawas: Killed by Storm Troopers for having R2 and C3P0. New Jawas: Killed for pitching yet another lame JAVA product "concept".
#4 Obi Wan's name changed to OS/2 Kenobi. Uncle Owen now constantly says "I think he died X years ago" where X changes between 10 years before to 10 years in the future. Storm troopers now don't kill Uncle Owen but instead appoint him head of the Imperial press.
#3 Amiga users upset because the new computers in the Death Star are PC's when they could have been replaced with a single Amiga 1000 with 512K of ram and still run "tons faster and do real multitasking unlike those PEE-CEEs"
#2 The Canteen now has real rock stars in it. They look as they normally do but still manage to look more alien than the original aliens in there.
#1 Death Star's old slogan: "Fear this battle station" Death Star's NEW slogan: "Where do you want to go today?"