IBM Employees to Change Light Bulb

Q: How many IBM employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10,000: one to hold up the light bulb, and 9,999 to turn the building around.

Y2K

President Yeltsin, President Clinton and Bill Gates are invited to have dinner with God. During dinner He tells them, "I needed three important people to send my message out to all the people: Tomorrow I will destroy the Earth."
Yeltsin immediately calls together his cabinet and announces, "I have two really bad news items. God really exists, and tomorrow he will destroy the earth."
Clinton calls an emergency meeting of congress and announces, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is God really does exist; the bad news is tomorrow he's destroying the Earth."
Gates goes back to Microsoft and tells his employees, "I have two pieces of great news. First, I am one of the three most important people on earth, and second, I think I've got the Y2K problem fixed."

Jesus vs. Satan

One day, Jesus and Satan decided to settle which one of them was the best programmer. God was chosen to be the judge.  Jesus and Satan got 10 hours to create the best program they could for the PC.  When 10 hours had past, the power suddenly went out and all the data disappeared from both monitors. Moments later, the power came back on.  On Jesus's monitor, all the data had returned to its previous state, whereas Satan's monitor remained blank.  Satan got really angry and complained to God.  God was quiet for a moment, then he laughed and said, "Jesus saves!"