Puppies Don't Surf The Web

Why Dogs don't surf the web...

• Can't stick their heads out of Windows 2000.
• Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.
• Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
• Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
• Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.
• Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
• Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
• Cause dogs aren't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...
• Barking in the next cubical keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
• SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
• SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
• Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.
• Butt-sniffing is more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.

Internet Time

Q: Dad, is it true that spending time on the internet makes you dumber?"
A: "omg son lol"

Password Hell

WEBSITE: Please enter your new password.
USER: Cabbage
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: Boiled cabbage
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER: 50damnboiledcabbages
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
USER: 50DAMNboiledcabbages
WEBSITE: Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: 50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow !
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER: ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow
WEBSITE: Sorry, that password is already in use.