HIT ENTER when ready

Tech Support: "What does the screen say now."
Person:  "It says, Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Person: "How do I know when it's ready?"

Software Failure

FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software.

Fixing Broken Computers

An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced.
He told her to "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix it."
About fifteen minutes later she shows up at his door with the power cord in her hand.