Computer is Female

• Picky, picky, picky.
• They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
• Beauty is only shell deep.
• When you ask what's wrong, they say "nothing".
• Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.
• Always turning simple statements into big productions.
• Small talk is important.
• You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.
• They make you take the garbage out.

Any Windows Open

Tech Support: "Do you have any windows open right now?"
Customer: "Are you crazy woman, it's twenty below outside!"

Chinese Politician

I accidentally installed a program that keeps showing me a picture of a Chinese politician.
I think it's maoware.