Da Bears

Q: Why is Chicago called the Windy City?
A: Because the Bears blow!

Illinois Jokes

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
Dumb Illinois Laws

• You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.
• You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2.
• You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.
• The English language is not to be spoken.
• Chicago Law, forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
• It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.
• Kites may not be flown within the city limits.
• Spitting is forbidden
• In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb.
• It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck.
• It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
• Champaign - One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.
• Cicero - Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.
• Crete - Cars may not be driven through the town.
• Des Plaines - Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.
• Eureka - A man with a mustache may not kiss a woman.
• Evanston - Bowling is forbidden.
• It is illegal to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
• It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
• Fairfield - It is unlawful for "negroes" to be within county boundaries from sundown to sunrise.
• Freeport - It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.
• Galesburg - There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.
• Homer - It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law enforcement officer.
• Joliet - Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town's name mispronounced 'Jolly-ETTE' when all local folk know it's pronounced 'Joe-lee-ETTE', made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine.
• Kenilworth - A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow. Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back from any residence.
• Kirkland - Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kirkland's streets.
• Moline - Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August is prohibited.
• There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.
• Morton Grove - You may not own a handgun
• Normal - It is against the law to make faces at dogs.
• Orland Park - No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it supports gambling.
• Ottawa - Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.
• Park Ridge - Trucks may only park inside closed garages.
• Peoria - Basketball hoops may not be installed on a driveway.
• Zion - It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals.