Bakersfield, California

I live in Bakersfield, California. At least it's not Barstow, a city that owes its existence to the fact that people traveling to Las Vegas needed a place to stop and take a sh*t. There was a toilet and they built a city around it.

San Francisco Jokes

You Know You Live In San Francisco When ...

• Your co-worker tells you s/he have 8 body piercings but none are visible.
• When someone says TENDERLOIN - you don't think of steak.
• You think of danger.
• You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in English.
• You never bother looking at the MUNI line schedule because you know the drivers have never seen it.
• You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian.
• A really great parking space can move you to tears.
• You know that anyone wearing shorts in April is just visiting from Ohio.
• Your child's 3rd grade teacher has two pierced ears, a nose ring and is named "Breeze." And, after telling that to a friend, they still need to ask if the teacher is male or female.
• You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between yoga, aroma therapy, conversational mandarin or a building your own web site class.
• You haven't been to Fisherman's Wharf since the first month you moved to SF, and you couldn't figure out how to drive to Coit Tower if your life depended on it.
• A woman walks on MUNI with live poultry. You don't notice.
• You think any guy with a George Clooney haircut must be visiting from the midwest. You know that any woman with a George Clooney haircut is not a tourist. 
• You keep a list of companies to boycott.

Striking Statistics

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
The odds of winning the California lottery by matching all six numbers are 14 times greater than the odds of being struck by lightening, according to Lottery magazine. the figure drops to nine times greater in New Jersey, six times greater in Pennsylvania, and four times greater in Connecticut.