Geographic Marketing

Q: What do they call an extra-large bottle of lube in Alabama?
A: Family size

Survivor For Alabamans

With the overwhelming response to the CBS hit "Survivor", Alabamans have made their own version. Contestants are given pink car to drive from Dothan, to Birmingham, on to Decatur, and back to Dothan. On each car is a bumper sticker that says, "I'm gay, I'm a yankee, and I'm here to steal your guns!" First one back wins.

Dumb Alabama Laws

It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
You may not drive barefooted.
It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.
It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.
Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.
Masks may not be worn in public.
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.
Incestuous marriages are legal.
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
You must have windshield wipers on your car.
You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
Anniston:  You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.
Jasper:  It is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
Lee County:  It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.
Mobile:  It is unlawful to wear women's pumps with sharp, high heels.
It is unlawful to howl at ladies inside the city limits.
Montgomery:  It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of it spooking horses. (Repealed)